just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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