Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
