just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
