I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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