Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
