Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
