no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Randomize
