dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
