none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
