A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
