Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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