New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
