dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They took my balls.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
