If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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