Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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