You can't motorboat a personality
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
