your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
