I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
