I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
