Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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