guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
