That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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