I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
