I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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