Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
