I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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