if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
