Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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