You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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