my sisters under your porch take her home
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
