i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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