Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
