I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
