he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
