i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
