I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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