Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize