JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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