if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
