There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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