Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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