You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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