4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
