He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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