He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
