i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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