Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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