Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
