I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
