You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
