Im at strip club and am horny
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
