Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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